At one point I said “don’t worry, give up control, all will be ok”. Recently I realized that I was making a major assumption: that evolution has lead us to a certain stable state… And then I started looking back at my life: I’ve met absolutely amazing women and yet I am not even close to starting a family and, if I am to be honest with myself, I am the cause. And then I recalled how I heard the argument that “evolution is over”: progress in medicine means no more natural selection. Except, if evolution has reached a plateau and I am not just a glial/expendable member of the gene pool, yet I am still single and grandma’s giving up hope on great-grandkids, what’s going on?
Tag Archives: relationships
Recently, since we ended up cooling off with an RI (Romantic Interest), I had a *gasp* new, even if unoriginal, thought. This is from an email I wrote:
My affection for women in relationships breaks down into two components:
1. Romantic – "she so hot, I want to be close to her and look into her eyes like a dog seeking a bisquit". Revelation is in the fact that, despite the fact that each time I feel this yearning to be unique, it is actually identical to every other time I feel it. This realization makes me feel like a detached observer of my own biological response to context of mating.
2. Human/intellectual – the want of your company to laugh, to know your opinion, to communicate and enjoy the conversation. This also feels unique (on the rare occasion when I meet someone with whom I feel this), but I think this one actually MIGHT be unique due to the fact that ideas, human experiences, and humor itself, while still not unlimited, are nevertheless far more diverse than pure emotions.
What is still unclear to me is what the relationship is between the second and the first component, where the line is drawn, and how to bridge the gap so that the emotional part is not detached from the intellectual one, but is an extension thereof. Having said that, in most relationships it seems to me people never really end up developing the second component… run out of things to talk about. This seems especially true as you get older and more focused and entrenched in the ideas that usually relate to your career, everyday problems, the variety of which is identical from person to person.