We went to the dead sea today. Feels incredible: silky smooth skin, I feel translucent. This is a pretty amazing place if you need a new sense of perspective… Although, intuitively, I feel like I am so impressed with Tel Aviv that something’s gotta give – there will be some new piece of information that will bring me down from the cloud 9 I found myself on. Perhaps it is already happening as I am starting to realize my own shallowness and my insecurities start to push out the mental pores as I observe people from this little cafe (all cafes have complementary WiFi, btw). This makes me angry, confused. i feel like this is a bit like sitting in a sauna with the toxin-loaded sweat being laboriously forced from the body. Perhaps it’s just hormones and standard ups and downs, perhaps it’s the want of sex and intimacy that swells uncontrollably (oh, nice trashy porn word in there) being in this city where everybody is between 20 and 40 and whom I see as beautiful unique people, or perhaps it’s just the consequence of forced reflection, or all of the above. Regardless, as unpleasant as this is, as soon as I get angry, I begin to enjoy this state. An edge. A sort of desperation at the silently pounding clock releasing me from common convention.
Like eyes adjusting in the dark, I begin to see… the sincerity runs only so far before layers and complexity begin, a facade upon people, behind which I can see the gears’ friction generating heat to push enough dust out the ears to produce a dark cloud over their head. Dry, rainless.
I want to take bad photography because it is far more interesting to me than proper alignment.
Mmm… I like what I wrote. Tomorrow I will find it narcissistic and shallow, but today I like it. So I shall post it on my blog so that I can tell people to fuck off when they judge me.