Diary: cashless romantic?

Not having money does great things to me… it realigns my senses, makes me appreciate things more. Makes me a “more effecient member of this society” (read: I’ve been selling CD’s that I haven’t been listening to on eBay). My room feels pleasantly empty… Room to breathe, room to think. And it’s not just lack of Lu’s pictures on my wall that clears my mind – it’s a complete change of my room from cluttered to organize, even if minimalistic. It’s interesting that I can blog about Lu – she doesn’t read English very well and it’s highly unlikely she would come accross this blog… which gives me a strange sense of being able to be honest without fear of hurting her feelings… and if she does read this, which would not be altogether bad, because she would have to accept this as my thoughts without judging me. As for merits to myself, this blog is priceless – my thoughts seem to aqcuire this strange crystal-like quality when I am forced to express them… a bit depressing that it would take a medium as ineffecient as this one to bring clarity… in a couple of decades self-expression will hopefully dramatically change with written form looking like counting on an abacus…

Anyway, Lu just called. She seems convinced that I am cheating on her. Absolutely convinced. And it’s very considerate of her to say stuff to the tune of “I know you are at some girl’s place, I still want to see you.” but it really is starting to get old. Cause if we are dating openly, then we are dating openly. If we are not, then we are not. I am under the impression that we are not. Yet it seems she wants me to play the game of lying for her sake, which is not something I am interested in doing… at least not until I know the rules to this game, if it is indeed a game.


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2 responses to “Diary: cashless romantic?

  1. Hmm..

    "She seems convinced that I am cheating on her. "

    A red flag…

    ~ Valenti International Blog

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