Diary: Shit happens – rama rama ding ding…

Can’t sleep. Can’t think straight. Sometimes shit happens that makes us re-evaluate everything we believe in. It also makes us… no, fuck that… it makes me realize how much I value my friends. I’ve never needed anyone really – always self-sufficient with the exception of the normal human longing for that elusive, if not non-existent, significant other. Yet now, after some things happened in my personal life that leave me gasping for air, for the first time in my life I am truly grateful for the friends I have. Some who know what’s going on… some silent… some of the same flesh and blood… some not… yet all there, an unshakable foundation I may have even selfishly have seen to be a piedestal on occasion… until recently, when my house of cards came crashing down testing my moral and mental resiliency. And for the first time in my life, I see no shame in turning to friends for support… For the first time I don’t feel like I am in a movie about Nikita, but rather that this is life – real and brutal.

For the first time in a long while I feel I am not showing off, I am not being dramatic, I am not adopting my behavior to what I think others might perceive me as. For the first time I feel I am doing the best I can… dealing with the situation the best I know how…

Anyway, to all my friends, at the risk of sounding corny, thank you. Even if I have not spoken to you for a while, even if we have each gone our separate ways, I am thankful you exist and that, if I really need you, I intuitively know you will be there for me.

And the strange thing is that things are really not THAT bad if one looks at it from a cold-rational point of view… or rather, they could get a LOT worse.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Diary: Shit happens – rama rama ding ding…

  1. Anonymous

    re: shit happens

    hey,
    shit happens all the time, dont let it get to you.
    some say if you dont stir the shit it wont stink…

    best of luck and if all else fails get a hooker and a bottle of vodka.

    -little

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