Diary: the mouse…

The more I think about it, the more guilty I feel about not saving the mouse yesterday. I even throw spiders outside instead of killing them and I didn’t save a warm blooded animal. I guess there are actions that all are ashamed of and that no matter what we do, we feel like we simply can’t make things right regardless how much we wanted it all for the better. Me?

– killing the mouse
– killing the bird that I was trying to save by my dumb ass deciding to wash away the grime and then leaving somewhere (don’t remember where)
– hurting Kat
– attempting to hide behind a guy’s back when I was a kid

Why am I posting these here? I don’t know… perhaps because not posting it would be the weak way out. Or perhaps by airing it, I somehow absolve myself at least of some responsibility for my actions.

And I am feeling like shit over a mouse… may be this is why people ignore atrocities. Because if they face them, they have to acknowledge that they have caused so much suffering…

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