Excerpt from an e-mail to someone:
Hey! Sorry I didn’t pick up the phone – was asleep and the ringer was off. Saw that you called only when, get this, I heard Mary and Alex yelling back and forth about something. Turned out a mouse made it through the pipes and into our bathroom, but was unable to get out. Mary, on her bed, crowded into the corner, on the phone, was trying to find consolation in her friend Kyle (while David(her bf) and I were trying to figure out what to do with it), who suggested to “just flush it”. David wanted to drown it with a plunger. David (or was it Mary?) suggested to use a hammer to kill it. Alex jumped about a meter high when I slid the aforementioned hammer I brought out (wasn’t used – would have been funny though as the most likely result would be a shattered toilet and broken windows due to Mary’s screaming while the sucker would run around the apartment.
Instead, what ended up happening was the mouse drowned… I felt like a freaking monster (though substitute the word “rodent” or “rat” above, and the outlook changes just a bit).
Oh man… I want to cry now… just remembered the “Steel mousetrap”… or was it the Steel Cat… anyway, it’s a story about a man who found a mouse in his bath, and then, after he fished it out, they became great friends. He invents a steel mouse trap and uses the mouse to demonstrate it, but fishes it out just in time to save it – so they have this deep relationship that forms. But at one presentation, he is showing it to a fat businessman, who insists on watching the mouse die. And when the main character tells him that the presentation the fat businessman sits on him and watches as the mouse drowns… then, once it stops twitching, he gets up, dusts himself off, and leaves saying “Well, I’ll think about it.” And the main character is devastated.
Oh man… Wow… I feel terrible now… we watched it die… But if we fished it out and took it downstairs, it would end up in someone’s apartment, spreading disease, etc. etc. etc… ugh… damned either way… can’t believe now I actually brought out a hammer (however silly the action may be), let alone being fascinated by the process of its death…