Diary: a strange experience…

So, went to sleep at 3 am. Woke up at 7:30, went to work, hopped on the bus at 12:25 and slept until around 1:30. Now I am sure you are all on the edges of your seat reading this log of events, but something happened at 1:30 that that timing very importnant – I had a very interesting mental experience. When I woke up, I could easily imagine with great ease and detail a human figure of a girl (clothed!!!) and I could get her to do anything I wanted. The amazing thing is that, usually, my thoughts are very discrete and incoherent. For instance, if I wanted to imagine someone walking I would see something like:

1) snippet of a walk – motion or skipping frames
2) backtrack, do again from half way,
3) skip over forward
4) back again

It’s a sporadic conceptual process, where what I had today was a sort of photographic memory on crack. The motion was completely smooth, the features were seen all at once INCLUDING the surroundings, and I had complete freedom in what she did. Why a she? Perhaps because of my obsession with the female body…

Aside: someone I spoke to at one time mentioned that when she fantasizes, she thinks of what she looks like and what is done to her, rather than about him. Yet when I fantasize, I think of what the girl looks like, rather than what I look like in the particular context. So could the fact that it is easier for me to imagine a female body in motion (fully clothed – in the excercise above, there was nothing sexual) be explained by it being easier for the brain to visualize the female concept rather than male?

OK, back on track. So I was able to visualize in incredible detail a complete scene – something I am usually unable to do. What enabled me to do this? Recent excercises with memory? Diet? Dispursed sleeping pattern? Or perhaps a date I went on recently? Wouldn’t call any of them far-fetched…

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