WHOA! The First entry of 2005. Let’s recap – this year was definitely something along the lines of what Jen has dubbed me in Princeton: Shady. I move to NYC, the year passes relatively uneventful, and then goes out with a big depressing bang in Asia. Shady. Spent New Years in the company of parents and their friends – quite a bunch. I was the youngest, felt like a toddler, and, while I would perhaps rather have spent it with a small group of people in NYC ending it in bed with some gorgeous woman I would obsess over, this was not such a bad alternative: for instance, I now know how an ear works, I have spoken French yet again (felt like my tongue was thawing after spending a millenium or ten under an iceberg), and have met a woman who teaches dance at Juilliard. The down side is, I am now alone. Worse off, I started the year off successfully placing my foot in my mouth all the way to my knee. Here is an approximate transcript of the phone conversation:

Her: “Hey!”
Me: “Heeeeeeeeeeeeey! How are ya?”
Me (thinking) – holy sh*t! What did I do to deserve a call from Andrea?
Her: something like ‘not bad’
Me (thinking) – wait, that’s not Andrea… different accent…
Me: “Wait a second, who are ya?”
Her: “Really? Then why do you say hey?”
Me (thinking) – definitely not Andrea…
Me: “Hmm… Andrea?”
Her: “Nope”
Me (thinking) – dumbass, I knew that!
Her: “Hold on, other line”
Me: “Sure”
Me (thinking): ok, who the heck is it… it doesn’t sound like anyone in particular… a bit like Aimee, but not as alive… a bit like Taneshia, but too serious… everyone else who is in any way close to me, I would have recognized by now
Phone: “snap… crackle… pop”
Her: “Hey, I am back. So, yeah, I gotta go.”
Me: “Wait! You can’t do that! Who are you?”
Her: “You already guessed, you were wrong.”
Me: “Yeah, I know. So who are you?
Her: “I gotta go”
Me: “Wait, what? Who are you?”
Her: “Hmmm”
Me (thinking) – perhaps Aimee…
Me: “Aimee?”
Her: (sounding really displeased) “OK… no. I am gonna go”
Me: “Wait! Who are you?”
Her: “No, I think I am gonna go now… for fu”

Now… she seemed thoroughly pissed. However, girls, rule #1: if I do not recognize your voice, it means I do not recognize your voice. With that said, things I learned:

1. Don’t guess unless you know or unless you are sure that the person on the other line has good will.
2. Don’t call and not give your name – it’s really irritating
3. As much as you might want to argue otherwise, insecure pissy dialog lacking in sense of humor should not affect mood in any way.

Well… if you are reading this and called me, for the record, that was really silly. Be greatful I didn’t dub you Ilya! 🙂

To compensate, a friend called me from CA – trashed and in good spirits, which was excellent to hear 🙂

Happy New Year!!!


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