I am lame. Lame lame lame lame lame. Thinking myself an independent thinker with something resembling taste, it is ironic that I am stuck in my own judgements and fears thereof, sex drive stuck in 5th gear, and other entertaining pleasantries of a healthy male specimen in his mid twenties. Cumulative effect? A very truly strange state of mind. Ioshik v tumane.

The worst thing is that I am not sure whose judgement it is that I fear. My own? Those around me? But single out individuals whose opinion actually matters to me, and you can count them on the fingers of one hand. Judgement is a disservice to society… to individuals… albeit there are those who should be judged and consequently ostracized, but what about those above a certain threshold?

Perhaps judgement is a defense mechanism that prevents people from seeing the humanity in others: a mechanism of psychological protection to strengthen the idea of family in the society – the older we get, the less incentive is there to see, to be open. Today I want to talk to a girl because, ultimately, I want to end up in her arms. Consequently we’ll become closer intellectually, we’ll develop a relationship, and perhaps even become friends. Is this hypocricy?

On the other hand, we get older, the sex drive dies down, and of those who do develop intellectually, most end up focusing on a particular field – will it be hard to find conversation partners rather than those to lecture or be lectured by?

And all this depression is caused by what? Ladies and Gents, you guessed right – by lack of a beautiful woman in my bed. Why is there no beautiful woman in your bed, you might ask? Because I am a schmuck. Either that, or an incomplete hypocrite – the worst sort of hypocrite.

Why am I putting all this online? Hmm… see previous paragraph…

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