What is this…

Watching a tape recorded on a camcorder months ago feels like a painfully nostalgic memory of childhood, except that, which feels to be but a memory is still reality – the house, the bed, parents watching TV in the living room. My whole life at that moment feels like a translucent instant a tear sneaks into the eye as a happy moment from the past into the mind. Except instead of the past it was the present, instead of happiness, it was a feeling of inevitable… obrechinnost’… perhaps damnation? A feeling of being a bird in a cage that can theoretically break free, but does not due to its inability. My recurring theme…

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